Thursday, July 4, 2013

As you know it

When the one you love dies, your life changes. Everything that was a part of up until a few moments ago has stopped. Unlike your kitchen blender there is no red "reset" button to push. If there is a "how-to" manual, who would read it...until to late? Sound overly dramatic? Think about it.

For years your life has been as part of something, a pair, a couple, a union...a marriage. Now you are totally alone, stunned with decisions to make. The rest of the world did not stop. Friends, family everyone surrounding you take on  a new role, caregivers. You are almost in a state of hibernation. Awake, but not aware. Doing, but not feeling. Acting, but not thinking. Planning without ideas or goals.

You stumble through life, hoping not to mess up, at least not badly. Help surrounds and confuses you. It is an unaccustomed thing, something you never needed and don't know how to react to. A time when every one's thoughts are good. One you will be thankful for later.

I hope I didn't mess up as I stumbled through, it is later and I truly appreciated the care, thoughts and concern you all offered.

The time to return is fast approaching. I will not pretend to looking forward to my departure. But, because of my very extended group of care-givers I will be better prepare than when I left.

Thank you all for being there, for caring and for still being there.

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