Monday, August 24, 2015

A Baker's Dozen

How is it that every women in Europe can manage to look stunning even while riding a bicycle and so many American women simply envelope the damn thing?

When people claim to think "less of you", count your blessings. After all you are the only that you must please.

How many continents are there? Nations? Cultures? Peoples?
...but somehow we are always right?
Please look up jingoism!

For all of you that believe this statement "everything is beautiful, in it's own way." Please turn on the news, now pay attention!

Equality ends at birth. Disbeliever? For poignant proof check out a classroom near you.

If Adam and Eve only had two sons...Lucy! Someone has some 'splainin to do!

Can Santa Claus get workman's comp if he slips on some of Rudolphs' "left-overs" and hurts himself?

Speaking of Santa, with all those raindeer pulling, how does he stop?

We get recipes from books that have been written in alphabetical form, while those done numerically are frequently "pre-cooked!"

Politics as usual...visualize this, a chicken after it has met the axe...politics as usual!

What looks more absurd than a two foot long grey mullet? Two of them on a trike!

A photograph is filtered by glass and a painting by your heart.

A reflection is a shadow in technicolor.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Logical progression...from 15 year old eyes

It was the winter of 1958 and the coolest dude on TV was kind of like Tonto on steroids. Pahoo! A knife throwing Indian with a sawed-off shotgun slung under his serape for back-up.
Here we see him with the star, Jock Mahoney as Yancy Derringer and Frances Bergen as Yancy's current girl friend. For a show that didn't see a second season there is much to say about this group.

Here goes... X Brands plays Pahoo the stalwart side-kick. A seldom speaking Pawnee Indian. He actually received a letter of commendation from the tribe on his authenticity...he was of German decent. Perfectly normal in Hollywood where Leonard Nemoy (Spock) started out as an Indian.

Jock Mahoney, the lead, had worked his way up from stuntman to star and after a successful run as the Range Rider was taking a second stab at Cowboy stardom. His character was an ex-confederate officer  making his living as a gambler and as a covert agent on the side...even then New Orleans had a bad rep. In the cast, as sort of maid in waiting was Mahoney's real wife, Margaret Field. As befits the name Derringer was heavily armed. Not sure if that to thwart all the weekly villains or to keep all the girl-friends aligned.

In the cast there was a previous companion that now was running his favorite watering hole. But, the girl of the moment was played by Frances Bergen both attractive and accomplished but perhaps better known as the wife of Edgar Bergen.
 Ok, I am going to attempt a chart...

We have an Indian sidekick that is really German

A girlfriend with two wooden step-children ( Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd) and a real live beautiful daughter ( Candice Bergen)

A girl friend in waiting...his real wife, that has a daughter named Sally.

The hero, not the sidekick plays a southern gentleman despite the fact that he himself is part Cherokee.

How can you beat that?






Let's try, one of the wooden stepsons seduces the Flying Nun and begat...

Enough?

No! 

Later, Sally joins up with a large cast to film the epic, Hooper!
A film based on the life of?????  Jock Mahoney!

This whole thing is stranger than fiction, but mostly true!

Thursday, August 6, 2015

If only---

We have commenced the loons and lemmings season. All of the would be messiahs are busily inching their heads out from under their favorite rocks. Each insisting that he (she) can help us live our lives better, under his/her leadership , than we are currently doing without it.

All of you know who I am talking about, the saccharine saviors that surface every four years seeking to lead us to a bright new moral, patriotic and economically stable future. At this point we will divest ourselves of reality, simply because none of them start with clean houses themselves. From Trump to frump they scream of "the good fight", "moral indignation", "the cause", etc. Arrogant, power hungry petty despots seeking public admiration...and a buck or two along the way. Yetch!

Save me...no, save us from the saviors!

Does anyone have a clue just what an "ad hoc" committee is? Other than a clarion call for all these public feeders at the trough, that is. Has any one out there ever been asked their thoughts on these buffoons? I haven't. 


Now this is where I wish fiction was the true reality. Because we could jump into H.G. Wells' Time Machine and flip the dial to a day just after the election. Next, we would accumulate all the results and other pertinent information, ie costs, and return to the present. 

With this info on hand we fine each of the losers for the cost of each of his/her vanity trip plus triple damages for our collective pain, anguish and suffering. With this money in hand the national budget should balance with perhaps a little left over so the next generation might get edumacated!!!