Plan "B"

...or, riding off into the sunset.

Why a plan B? The last few months have been traumatic, sometimes terrifying with a little bit of terrific tossed in. 

When the sheer and utter shock of Grace's death had receded some and the numbness abated as well I knew major changes in my life were in order. I did a quick downsize in my living arrangement, but it was not sufficient. I still felt "out of it", isolated. My trip to Rome was a way to attempt a revitalization. When the end came and I returned to Florida more change was necessary. As it became clear that I was not returning to the job that I had left, the plan "B" that I had been talking about...joking about became more relevant.

I want to be a part of something big, vibrant and real...society. There are places that I have visited that demand more attention. Places I have not seen that I feel drawn to. I need to reconnect. This is not where I belong...it is not home. It is time to change.

I have never drawn up anything as loosely as this plan. But the central aspect of the plan, the "how", the means is done...complete. The  photos you see show how the next turn in my path will be managed.

I have talked about this plan for the last few months. Talk and planning were converted into action by one phone call. Yesterday. The only way you can absolutely sure of something is to live through it. Time provides all answers. 

This is a major twist in the path. Optimism, positive attitude, curiosity and hope now combine in the form of one huge, wonderful, beautiful magic carpet. The big white "Spot" and I will be on a magical mystery tour of our own. My cat will be in the window, but the window will be on the move-not a stagnant porthole looking out on dead grass and an empty neighborhood.

The sunset beckons. Texas. Arizona. Utah. California. Points North, West. Wonders, man made and natural, but above all people. That is my goal. To be among folks that can and do laugh. Not only at jokes, but at adversity as well. I need to feel and see the spirit that we are known for...the tolerance, the hope, our care and concern for our fellow man. Right now it's in limbo, for me and perhaps our land.

I'm going to look...wish me well!