Her journal...part three

Today is a travel day. Back to Brenda's and I don't want to leave. Breakfast downstairs, Holly serving and we hit the road. 

A tour through the city and on to the beach. We drove for ten miles or so on Daytona beach. Stopping and walking,Max perfected the art of slow driving, with the door open...reaching out and picking up shells-talk about lazy! Back onto road and a lunch stop at Flagler Beach. Arrive around 6:30 and we order pizza. Domino's! Didn't overeat this time.

Saturday was a day for some clean-up, a bit of shopping before going out with Kim and family. We met them at Arigato's where we enjoyed a good meal,the kids specially, as it was a brand new experience. From there to Ringside for some Blues music, good players, vocals so-so. This is where JD became a self-appointed background checker...mine. Questions Kim probably wanted the answers to, but wouldn't ask. Worked out ok and Kim followed up with questions about the girls. At the end of the night I felt relieved that I had passed the test. Max,as usual knew where my feelings were coming from and admonished me for thinking that the kids approval would matter to him. He felt that my fear of rejection may have added to my being jittery all day. No more coffee, he bought me decaf! 

Home, where Max 'fessed up...he forgot to load the film, so all his shots of the B&B plus Jake were lost...some teacher!
...and, we didn't win the lottery either!

...to be continued

Reflections

 Kathy summed it up...she was a force! Her lose was a terrible blow to all of us that knew and loved her. a stunning end to what was a sad year. I will not be festive or celebratory tonight, but I will be glad for this year to end. Three beloved family members gone in such a short time reminds us that time is not to be wasted, but enjoyed.

Over my life there have been many additions to my family. I seem to accumulate them. New uncles, aunts, cousins, sisters, brothers, daughters, grandchildren in both this country and in the land of our dreams. This is , indeed ,a good thing. Family,  something you can never have enough of. Something to share your love with and your sadness.

Tonight we'll share memories, laughs and the sadness. Tonight the year ends...good! Tomorrow we will begin again, a new year, a new slate and a new start. Hope, that will be the keyword for our new start.  Buon anno a tutti!

Thurs Jan 28th...her journal

Had breakfast at the Victorian House. It,s a real pretty day outside...blue sky, sunshine, puffy clouds and lots of sky writing. Cancelled the notion of reading on  the porch 'til 10:00. Grabbed cameras and headed for the fort on foot. Spent at least an hour here taking pictures. I really hope my abilities are improving. Max wanted a group of sedentary birds to perform for an in-flight shot., so he tossed our house keys into the middle of the flock. They complied with his wishes, spread their wings and started to flutter around...it should be a great picture. But then the birds tried to grab the keys and take off. Max  really had to scramble-with hands over his head for protection to retrieve them. The picture taking here was truly fun.

Next we rented a horse drawn buggy for a tour of the city. As we were getting to our assigned buggy the first horse in line latched on to my camera strap...the driver had to slap his muzzle to make him release it. My sweater and the camera strap were covered with slime. It would have been a great shot if Max had realized what was happening earlier. 

Our driver's name was Tom and the horse was Bob. bob was a lively young horse who really wanted to take off. He kept trying to break into  a fast trot and was allowed to in traffic. Tom was totally personable, friendly and well informed about St Augustine. We got an excellent overview of the city and based our decisions on places to return to on his advice. 

After the tour we walked some of St George St-took a few shots there and I bought a pair of canvas Grasshoppers as the sandals I had on were giving me blisters. We headed back to the B&B to shed Max's jacket my purse, etc. and drop off gifts we had purchased.

Our next stop was the Mayflower...it's in St Augustine Philip! We kook pictures to take home for him...I'm sure max's will be better than mine...but I did try. 

Next it's the Lightner Museum. That was a great do. Very interesting place-what a way and place to have lived. An antique mall in what was the pool. Ropes suspended from the third floor so you could swing out and jump into the pool.  I suggested to Max that we might take in Beauport when we get home, I know he would love it.

Across the street is Flagler College. What an incredible place. It was built as one of the train Hotels when Henry Flagler was creating the railroad system in Florida. The beauty and opulence of the place can't be appreciated by the majority of the students. The dining hall was truly incredible, in no way could it be compared to the Commons back at SCC. I was totally awestruck by the murals, chandeliers, ceiling, etc.

Looked at more expensive antiques along St George St, picked up a couple of gifts and returned to B & B for a "Victorian Tea". a guitar player  (Holly) playing English/Victorian ballads...by the time we left Max had him playing the Blues. Holly told us about the Piano Bar and the performer there. So we left and headed to the Tradewinds again. Picked up wine for our meal and back to "Champs of Avila". Oh' oh, Bob-the chef is leaving to check out his new dog PJ...who's cooking? Diane brings out Max's lobster bisque and he tries to take a picture of it. Eats some and then runs back for his other camera. Bob returns, another couple gets their meals and out of the kitchen comes a young female, this isn't a one-chef operation after all. Another great meal.

Piano bar for one set. Bobby D does great job and back to B&B to end the night. Got good sleep, no cramps!

thus ends part 2...to be continued

Jan 23- Feb 7 1993...her journal

I've taken one of Grace's journal and used it to tell the story of our first trip. It's paraphrased...condensed.

Terrible day full of anticipation! Finally on the plane, calm, take-off about 6:00. Max antsy all day...no more late flights!
Got to Brenda's and watched a movie..."Invitation to Hell".

Sunday morning and breakfast at Skyway Jacks with Brenda and Stacy. Then to antique shops and a large junky flea market. I took a nap while they did the flea market. Brenda came back with great veggies for supper. A stop at Mom And Dad's, then back to Brenda's. Chicken Marsala for supper with steamed vegetables. On to meet Kim, JD and Jake, their adorable, friendly baby. A little beard tugging, after a little prompting and we're back to Brenda's. Another movie and Max bail's out around 11:00.

I made omelets for breakfast before we pick up Kim and Jake for some more antiquing in Ybor City. Jake is adorable, quiet, friendly and well-behaved. Lunch at the Columbia and then back to drop off the kids. Movie of the night, "Dominic and Eugene",great!

Tuesday and a business trip with Brenda, hate the back seat of this car. Never again! Antiques. Brenda does an inventory at one of her customers and Max  grocery shops. Brenda's...couldn't get out of that car fast enough!

Talked with Laurie and Kathy before we left for St. Augustine. We took back and side routes all the way there, no hurry. Saw a possible new home for Brenda, there was the water she wanted but it did need sprucing up. Arrived at the Victorian House about 6:00. They had messed up the confirmation and had to upgrade us, Daisy's Room with a porch...good deal!

Stopped in the Tradewinds, definitely a family run place. Of all the bars in town we instinctively find this one, too funny. Waitress tells us that the restaurant we chose doesn't have a liquor license but she can sell us a bottle of wine to go. 

Restaurant to ourselves, great piano on tape, Well presented food, fresh herbs and it tastes good! Three courses each for $50.00! We'll be back tomorrow. The B & B is just a few steps down the road and we're in for the evening. Max gets me aggravated...hold everything, he tells me that he loves me! We'll see- it would be wonderful-but it may have just been the day, the great room, the bottle of wine, whatever. It feels great for now...I'll take it. What a great city St. Augustine is!

...end of part one.

The yellow pad...

My friend Bill writes his holiday speech on a legal sized yellow pad. Lots of pages and it's almost always about his family. Big, warm and fun. Being in Florida means we don't see much of each other, I miss them all. This year more.

I am trying to put everything that has happened recently into perspective. So this is going to be my yellow pad.

Once upon a time you were born, grew up and remained in one place. Things change...movable roots. So when you think of your friends and loved ones, how, when and where they entered your life can be enlightening. Some of my friends are from childhood. Many are from other  stages along my life. All seem to have arrived at a propitious moment, just as I really needed the warmth and touch or hug of another. Some you always know, some are rediscovered, some are surprising and always, there are the newly discovered delights. Life is more of a winding road than a long thin line. Every twist leads in a new direction. New connections are made at each  turn. Three people have left my life in the last few weeks, it's gotten harder each time. What happens next will be another turn of the page. It isn't a new start because you will have the memories of those that were loved but are now gone and you still have all those that care for you. 

 My wishes can not be fulfilled, perhaps my hopes can. My sincere appreciation to everyone for your kind thoughts. A special thanks to those that have gone far beyond ordinary concern to try and ease the sorrow. Time will take care of that. Nothing else can. So from the carousel of life one leaves, I remain and rediscovered friends appear...life spins on.

Today is all about family. I'll spend it with my Daughter and her family.  I hope each of you is surrounded by the warmth and care of loving friends and family. Today should be full of joy and laughter. Let the original spirit of the season have free rein...let the party begin. Merry Christmas!

What a wreck!

 Guys may age were brought up differently, you don't cry in public. Why? I still have trouble with it. Yesterday we had the funeral services for my wife , Grace, and I didn't want to breakdown. Why? I knew everyone there, friends, family and loved ones but it was important to stay focused! Why? I'm not having any trouble at all crying in solitude. Just what is so damned important about being so strong? Silly isn't it? The saddest day of my life and I'm trying to tough it out...and failing miserably. The only person in the room that matters, Grace, has died, I'm trying to talk about her and not cry. What a fool! I loved Grace, why shouldn't others know it? That gut wrenching feeling comes and goes, just another one of those things you can only learn from experience. I walk through the house, mindlessly. Drive with no direction.

This train misses it's engineer!

Grace

First

No one ever called Grace Nonna. That is really too bad, because she exemplifies the word, a proud parent of children that are just as proud of their own. She would have loved it. She was a proud woman, proud that had been able to attein the skills, proficiency and the Degree that showed the world that you can learn and advance. That degree meant more to her than anything other than her family. A family she adored, a family that is paying it forward just as she did. And I am equally certain that their kids will continue the same "pay it forward" tradition that she started.

Now...

Imagine you are hearing the theme from Alfred Hitchcock. That is the music that Grace and I chose to accompany us on our entrance at our wedding reception. This was going to be a fun wedding, totally non-traditional. The spark to set us off on our new life. I think it worked.

Grace was going through a tough time waiting for surgery. One that would, both give her a second shot at life and ultimately here.

She grabbed hold of that chance and we were off on a long exciting ride. Bud, our Celebrant, has already recounted some stories of her life, so I'll try and stay centered on our time together.

We traveled! First, here to Florida to meet the family and to sight see. Then, through much of the country. Luckily, I have a large family, spread acroos the land...it helps! Always there was the question, could this be the place? But the passion never happened.

Grace had a plan, was passionate about it and she was stubborn. As aa child she had spent many loving hours with her Nonna. That's where she learned how to cook, not to clean. Somewhere during those moments she decided that she needed to visit her homeland...il suo patria, Italia! She looked forward to Firenze (florence) because that was where Nonna came from. Well, as I have heard, "you can't always get what you want"! Still the passion didn't happen.

And then Roma! Bells, whistles ,fireworks, the passion was finally there. When on departure she saw tears in my eyes she knew that we had found home. Everyone thought I was the besttoed one. I planned, she made it happen. No one ever had to ask where are you headed next again.

Why Roma? Culture? History? The ruins? Night life? Food? All of them but most importantly, the people. Early on we founf our hub, our base, perhaps in truth our home. Edda Montanari owns a place (bar) in the Campo dei Fiori...Winebar 36. It, the staff and all the surrounding vendors became our famiglia romano.

Both of us have traveled to Rome with broken legs. She on crutches and me just recently off them. I was and am  a born agein Roman...but she saw it first! If you were to ask us" how many times have you been to Rome"? The answer was, is and always will be one time too few!

One year we went for natale(Christmas), unannounced. Our sudden appearance was greated far past our wildest dreams. Two of our friends had lost their Fathers over the previous year and our visit was looked on as a way to help them through that first holiday season. In Italy the traditions differ, gifts are exchanged on epiphany and Christmas is a quiet family only affair. Lina, one of the widows invited us to spend the day her and her family. We were delighted, honored and humbled.

Grace has always been know for dressing stylishly and perhaps her trademark is a scarf. She has an entire wardrobe of them, many from Lina. Scarves and linens are what Lina and her son Sandro sell. Marina and Fabrizzio, next kiosk sell hats and soccer shirts...so NOT Grace.

I hope someday to return to see all of our dear friends and perhaps, return Grace to the place she and I love with such passion.

The medications that gave Grace her second chance are powerful. They have a lasting and cumulative affect. That is part of why we are here today.

The love of my life is at peace, her indomitable spirit stilled.

She got to see her Grand daughter Britney married, maybe the single most wonderful thing that a fiercely loving and doting Nonna could ever desire. Perhaps the happiest day of her life.

Our last memory of Grace will be of her dressed, lovingly in the outfit she wore so happily that day.

I wish that we could have more time, but sure loved what we did have...I will love and miss you until I join you.

Grace, I am the Champion!

 Some time in the next few days I will try to stand in front of family and friends and tell them about the love of my life, Grace. The photo is of her winning, but this time she didn't win.

Life has completed its cycle for Grace and we have to figure out how to proceed. She got a second chance years ago and we have warm happy memories and wonderful friends because of that second chance.  We sailed the seas...cruised that is, climbed the highest mountains...drove up Mt Mitchell, crossed the deserts...Palm Springs? We got to see a lot of the country and a bit of the world. Then came Rome and our hearts were lost forever. Everyone thought I was obsessed, but Grace was the one that made our trips happen. I planned, I took photos, but she made it happen...time after time. We thought that we had one more trip coming,but it was not in the cards, I wish I had planned better.

Putting a string of words together doesn't frighten me, but I hope that I can actually say them. She will be easy to talk about, but I expect a lot of trouble getting the words out. No matter how nicely you say good bye it hurts bitterly.

Good bye my love.

Gertrude Stein...

 ...was not in Rome when she uttered her famous line,"there is no there there"!
Here is one question asked often when someone starts planning a trip, Where should I go, what should I see? Obviously a place with more to offer than Gertrudes' muse, Rome is my answer. Of course I'm biased, so I'll try and justify my answer. Many places offer something that makes your jaw drop in wonder just looking at it. Paris, New York, London,Madrid,Barcelona have multiple vistas and spots to support their names. Rome has border to border coverage. City-wide awe and splendor. This isn't a green, grassy swath where you are asked to envision a battle two hundred years ago. It's live, vibrant, bold and right there in front of you waiting for you to touch it. The walls around the city are older than the city you now live in. That's a pretty general statement, right? But, unless you are one of the lucky ones living there, most likely true. History is not a course here, it's an every day part of life. The forum, the colloseum, the Pantheon, the Circus Maximus are all there in the hub of the city. You have to make choices daily, Do I go in? Do I walk through? Do I enter? Do I walk around?  Yes, I said walk and repeated it. From anywhere in the Centro historico you can walk, safely to the Vatican , the Baths of Caracalla, the Piazza Popolo, the termini, Trastevere, the Colloseum and so much more within 30 minutes. And your jaw will drop in each and every place. Don't over think this, Rome wasn't built in a day and you aren't going to "do it" in one either. Remember to sit and watch with something nice to drink. Do this frequently, it can become addictive...it was for me.

You are in Rome for two days with $1.98 budget, what do you do? Spend the budget on gilato, not sights. All of the churches are open at some time during the day, all are free and all are museums. Quiet, calm and spectacular. The Pantheon is the oldest church in the city. Many other churches are built on  sites of previous temples and some you can explore. Michelangelo's Moses is in San Pietro in Vincoli close to the Colloseum. Visit the Piazzas, Navona, Popolo, Campo dei Fiori, Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain...they are free, until you sit down and order something anyway. If you have pranza (lunch) around two and nibble later that will help your budget too. Maybe your waist as well. Good walking shoes, the right clothing for the season and batteries for the camera, Rome is an open photo-op! Underpack, right, under! They have wonderful clothing that you will not find in Ashtabula!

See our friends Sandro and Fabrizzio in the Campo dei Fiori for hats, shirts scarves and other gifts for those at home and then sit at the Bar 36 and enjoy your good fortune! You are spending your time in the "caput mundi" and spending it in the perfect way!

A Puckish Christmas Idea

 The postmark says Library of Congress, Dec 11 1912, one hundred years ago. I wish I knew the meaning of this Puck cartoon, because right now it just looks so right.

The meaning of Christmas and most religious holidays, to me has always been about we humans rising above our own troubles and trying to show each other care, concern and love. Individual beliefs aside most religions preach these precepts. The very ideas that you want your children to grow up believing in. Peace, love and understanding.Tolerance too.

What happened? Where did these concepts disappear to? When did the merchants take the forefront? Black Friday? That didn't exist when I was young. Were the old days better? Simpler? No! They just were different, do your kids have A-bomb drills now? We did. So simpler, easier doesn't apply. It sure looks like the holiday season has been "Grinched"!

I was going to do this blurb after Christmas. Then some some poor deranged idiot in Connecticut walks into a k-12 and sprays the world with his rage, killing himself at the end. No answers here, only more questions that will never be settled. Understanding such rage, such desperation, such hatred is beyond my comprehension...nor do I wish to comprehend. That would indicate that I was like minded.

Life does not proceed in a straight line. I've noticed quite a few bends in my road, but what lie's around the corner is the carrot that keeps me going. Those qualities that all the religions preach should be more of a norm than "a holiday special"! If you take those precepts and condense them into one word, that word should be "humanity". That is how we should think, act and be defined. So when you go around that bend the next time forget religion, just act with humanity. A start has to be made.

Murder

We in the United States have many rights. Murder does NOT happen to be one. Nothing in any law passed has ever even intimated such  a thing. Six weeks ago I wrote a blurb about guns and I will probably have more opportunities in the future. Our elected representatives owe their political soles to lobbyists, not us the electorate. So we and our children suffer, and die for their cowardice.  Not even the shooting of one of their own moves them. Yesterday in Connecticut a terrible person did horrendous things and everyone remotely connected to these poor families will have their lives altered, not for the better! If you want the right to bear arms, join the Army! Be a cop! Be useful, not part of the apologist fringe.

A murderer is a murderer by any name. It's also a specious claim, one trying to make us believe that someone with the desire to kill will find a way. That simply doesn't hold water. A gun allows you to be removed from your act like no other weapon of choice. Their is more accountability required to drive a car or to get married than to buy a gun! If in all of the public shootings that have taken place during my life the perpetrator had a baseball bat, a knife, even a bow and arrow think of the lives saved. Guns allow anyone to be a mass killer! If they were rules and regulations in place the need to defend your home argument disappears. Make it so.

While my wife lies in the hospital fighting the good fight one more time, she has missed her favorite season with all of its joy and hope. There will be a next year for her, but for all those families in Newtown, with trees up, decorated and presents under them all of our thoughts and best wishes can't change yesterday and what one deranged idiot with a gun did.

Progress?????????

 The definition of progress does not proclaim it as a panacea. Just moving forward, blindly could be called progress by some. As could the old Three Stooges line, "step by step...".

So you have a smart phone, it slices, dices and diapers the baby, but as a phone??????????? What do you mean the speaker is on the back? Oh, now there are two speakers, one to talk into and one to allow noise into the system just so it can be eliminated...yep, sounds like progress!

So we've all been to school, studied hard and graduated, then why do we continue to make the same mistakes? I thought that was the reason to take history. To learn from your predecessors, guess not. Make more and better weaponry appears to be what was learned. Not to mention a better distribution system...totally untraceable, naturally. Deni ability a must! No accountability at any cost!

New is a short term concept that is accepted as the end all, be all. New is a transient, fleeting thing. There are only a few moments of "new" before the ageing process makes "new"out of date. Old, on the other hand has a much broader base, millions of years of it in fact. Given these pretty
obvious facts, just why do we always pick the "new" gimmick, idea, concept? As above in the definition of progress, new isn't there either.

Many of the new ideas seem to come from marketing programs. Lets rephrase that, "how do we "fleece" the most from the most and make them love it? My thought here, I do not have a baby so my phone doesn't need to diaper one. My old phone works fine , it ain't broke so I 'm not fixing it.

Old concepts can work. Women have been beautiful since time began, Madison Ave might take credit, but any idiot can see the lie in that one. Evolution and a "little black dress" who needs Madison Ave?

When you walk down the street, are these familiar sights?

...then you are in the wrong place! Just sayin'!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Does your______look like this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cat of honor

 It was our wedding and I was enjoying it. A bit surprised by that.

We had the house, the cat in the window and two cars in the yard. The wedding was the final touch. Many discussions and decisions later, here we were.

Our  plan started with getting a permit so we could block the street. First we advised all of the neighbors and gave them open invitations to the ceremony. It was to be on our front steps, the wrap around porch that made us buy the house. Grace knew a Justice of the Peace through work connections. Flowers by Grace with an assist from Dad. Limo from Whitney, his old Bentley, sitting beautifully in our driveway, Julie at attention.

Pre-wedding music over the speakers from the Theater Dept at Salem State...William Tell, the Lone Ranger theme for the uninitiated, then the Wedding March. Brother Tom the Best Man and  daughters, Kathy and Laurie the Bridesmaids. Gorgeous summer day...great day to be in a wool tux! Family here from Florida, Texas, Carolinas, California and more. Our parents sitting up front. Sister Brenda the belle of the ball, everyone (guys) wanted to be introduced! A couple of weeks later I was asked, "Who was the girl in the black dress?" Grace was still the main attraction, so we didn't care that the younger people were so beautiful.

The ceremony was a short one. Our plans were to have a great big party and not much pomp and ceremony. After all we were not twenty-somethings. Ceremony complete, well-wishers having completed their congratulations we are in the Limo and off. Remember I said old Bentley? Overheating was a bit of a problem. We arrived late for our reception, but happy.

Tradition did not factor into our planning. Our intro music was picked to set the stage , The March of the Marionettes, or the Alfred Hitchcock theme. My brother in a huge floppy stage prop hat and tux guides my Mother to her seat and we are next. Hitchcock commences and we shamble/stutter to our seats...let the party begin.

That was nearly twenty years ago, Nic and Jess are no longer crawling on the floor, Britney is married and the memory of the day is still bright. Yep, still having fun, let's keep going!

Nurse Ratchet?

I stood in front of the gathering, our wedding, and proposed a toast. So it wasn't traditional, it was our wedding. Three women. The three that had made our day possible, Grace's Mother, My Mother and Sheila Patten. Others deserve to be honored, but for the previous year Sheila had been the beacon keeping us on a straight line. She was Grace's nurse.
Granted, she wasn't all that exclusive. After all she did work at a community hospital and have a few other obligations, but bottom line she was Grace's Nurse.

That year and the next I became very familiar to hospitals, nurses, doctors, emt's, etc. Grace had some serious troubles and was facing major surgery. Not alone! Her daughters were there, so was Brenda, our friends and Sheila. It has been about twenty years since that toast and we heard from Sheila again this past summer. Retired, but still a nurse, and still a friend. Next year Sheila! 

Grace is back fighting the good fight one more time. Sheila is up in Massachusetts and we have met a new group of wonderful people. Surprise, they too are nurses. In all honesty I would much prefer a different way of meeting nice people! But I am equally happy to find them at the most needed time in just the right place. Kathleen, Donna and the rest...here is a morning toast..."You are doing your job, but it seems so much more to us, so you have to be doing it well! Thank you!"

Our House...

 ...is a very special house! Great lyrics and appropriate for our first home.

A new home isn't an easy decision to make. In our case the decision was a lot easier than the hunt!

Through work, Grace new someone that was a realtor. We contacted her and got together for a sit-down. our wants were fairly basic, something not requiring huge amounts of remodeling and ready to move into. The rest negotiable. So began the trek.

The short sweet version of this is, "not gonna happen"! Agent a very "sit-down" type of gal...she sits, we hunt! So on that premise we went off  on our own. Week-end after week-end, neighborhood by neighborhood we searched. "For sale", notes taken, calls made, MLS checked and houses visited. No sale!

This routine was our weekend vigil for a few months, until totally depressed I spy another "open house" sign. We turn down the street and the first thing we see is a huge bluff at the end. The street dead-ends against the Lynn Woods. Impressive. Another turn and we are in front of a cute little cottage with a wrap around porch. Mission complete! We are home!We were married on that front porch!

Naturally the "sit-down " gal now wants to split the commission. We let the selling agent deal with that and finalized the deal.

Before leaving, many years later for Rome, that little house was the hub of our universe. Parties, celebrations, holidays, beers on the front porch we enjoyed our place. Nice neighborhood, new friends it was a joy.

It was where Grace and I started our annual tree trimming party that first Christmas. Not very big that first year, but it grew! Now the number of attendees is in the thirties. I can remember the look on Ricks' face when we gave him our first Flamingo...he has a small fetish! The kids running room to room, up and down the stairs, dragging poor 'Raz. Easter egg hunts in the back yard, even my brother Tom was involved. One other memory was just how much stuff we had accumulated when the time to move on came.The warm spot in our hearts is a lasting memory also.

This year we are a long way from that little cottage and a lot warmer. But the tree trimming party wasn't as much fun . Grace was knocked flat by a lung infection, so her sisters and I ended up decorating the tree while the Doctors and nurses tended to Grace. Well, there's always next year!

Under the tree

 We seem to be missing a train set...Marx, Lionel or American Flyer from the man who saved Christmas, A.C. Gilbert. Cute Christmas story to be viewed at a later date.

This is not an old family photo, but it reminds me of the Christmas of our youth. Do parents really believe putting the kids in bed early is a good idea? That only made us get up earlier. How about your house...any sleep there?

Erector Set, Lincoln Logs, Daisy, Schwinn, Flexible Flyer, Radio Flyer, Louisville Slugger, Rawlings, Spaulding, J C Higgins, Parker Bros, books...Bobbsie Twins, Nancy Drew, Tom Swift Jr, Toni Home Permanent dolls, Home Bake Ovens...these were some of the names we were looking for under the tree. Baseballs, footballs and BB guns! A puppy!
We were kids hoping for good things. I'm a lot older now and what I have are good memories. Many years of Christmas, the tree, the excitement, the expectations of family and friends.

This week-end Grace and I will have our annual homage to the season. The tree gets trimmed! It sits in the front room now, bare and unlite, waiting for all of the elves to arrive and magically transform it into a glistening, gleaming, shiny thing of hope and joy. We do it every year and each time it gets better. The tree itself isn't the secret ingredient, it's the always expanding crew of elves!

The elves, aka friends, are well fed. That is also tradition. Heritage insists that when you come to a family ensemble good and plentiful morsels must abound! The table will be full to the brim and no one has ever left unhappy or hungry.

We have come a long way from shopping on Washington St. in Boston, oh so many years ago. All of those stores, Stearns, Filene's, Jordan Marsh plus the little "off the street shops" on the lower end of Washington are all gone. Going into Boston just to see the windows and having a hot chocolate is a thing of the past. Now the lights are everywhere, especially along the "Jerry Jingle" highway!

We are not kids now, but we still hope for good things. Less material, perhaps but good. Warm, friendly feelings. Happy memories. Something called fellowship. Peaceful thoughts and ideas. And the proper setting...lot's of desserts too!

Buon natale a tutti!

One step...

Age has not been something that I have put much thought into. When I was a child most of my friends were older. Today younger. If everyone you know is the same age, don't you all think alike? How do you learn? Do you even want to?

One of my friends growing up was quite a bit older. I was a teenager and he was twenty something and married. His story, this one, is one of perseverance.

Bill was born in the Pittsburg area. At age 13 his Mom and Dad were in a terrible car accident, which only his Mom survived. She spent a year in and out of the hospital recovering. Spent the rest of her life with severe problems walking. She had been a teacher. But nevermore. Because of this event Bill left school, got a job and supported his family. Something he did for the rest of his life. 

Mom got better to the point of being able to get a job and return to her spot in the family. Bill was not able to return to school, he was no longer thirteen. Somewhere in here the family had moved north. Bill, now in late teens, met Evelyn, married, joined the Army, had a daughter, etc. 

When I finally met him, he was joining us in our tag football, stickball games. Competitive and never able to shake it. Even when we were unable to play outside, he had table hockey or board (APBA) baseball to play with or simply cards. Work was always hard for him because of lack of schooling. Factory worker, steel worker always hard labor. Key word, always. 

Three daughters, but no son. Then little Billy. For some people there is no justice. Little Billy never grew up. He drowned as a youngster. 

No one that I have met has ever tried as hard as Bill to keep his head and those of his family up. His ability to do this was most evident to me when I spoke with him years ago for what was the last time. One of his girls was now able to do for Bill and Evelyn what he had been doing for so long. He was still able to have his family around him. Life and everything it threw at him just could not wear him down.

You need to pay attention to all around you, because the most important lessons can be learned from the most surprising people. 

Wish you were here. Happy holidays to you both, wherever!

Chestnut St

After a couple of years of renting, it was time to make another try at home owning. One of the people Max worked with lived in Natick. A town about 15 miles from Everett. It was also much less city and much more suburb, at that time almost rural. A big old victorian style house was found and purchased. Now the move. This was the first time I was involved in a move. Believe me , it does not get better! 

Car load after car load, down the stairs over the balcony, ropes to lower some of the furniture, how I miss it! But I was definitely there then. Most of the trips went through Boston, out to Brookline and finally onto Rt. 9, ending at the new abode. All of our accumulated goods plus all the kids didn't begin to fill this place. But we tried. 

As this was a summer move we got some time off before school started. Remember going to see Max's friend Jack on the other side of town and  taking his boat out on Lake Cochituate. They were an older couple with no kids at home, so we didn't go over there very much. Later, I ended up working for Jack before the Navy. There were plenty of kids to play with and friendships started with the McGee's and their cousins the Healy's. Jim and Frannie McGee  lived across the street. His kids Connie and Jimmy were in our age group so we formed a quick alliance. Think that was the first time I realized girls might be something other than pains!

The Harwood boys lived down the street and around the corner. Their Dad owned a baseball factory near downtown. I wish now that I had visited the factory. Hindsight! They were the only friends of mine that had servants! We would be playing and a maid would knock and ask if we needed cookies. Even after all these years I find that pretty cool. When we built a tree house a carpenter did the work! Getting accustomed to luxury was nice, but reality was also very much in evidence. Big house, old windows (drafty? yep), old furnace (cold? yep), old roof (leaky? yep), lots of money to fix...never gonna happen! House proved to be an insurmountable problem. 

The struggle lasted for several months and we got another summer before the end, but the end came. 

My downtown trips to the library were coming to an end. The first girl that invited me to her house for supper (Paula) ended up disappointed, at least in MY memories she did. But, we were headed back to Everett. Paris Street. Where we remained until I graduated. 

Natick was one of the shortest of our domestic stays, but Everett was the longest. While I have some fond memories of that short time, Everett is where I grew up...and remember the best. 

The Test

Dating as an adult is strange. You remember the things you did when you were younger, but they don't work as well now. Two straws in a soda...not cute any more! Movies? Not if you don't like what's playing and that isn't even the reason you used to go!

Both of us liked antiques, flea markets, etc because, one it was a nice day together. Two, there was always the treasure hunt aspect. Three, it was a sure way to meet people. 

By the time we met I had built a couple of collections. One was a group of over one thousand record albums...the big, black round things with a hole in the middle. The acme of music at the time, but not particularly mobile. The second collection was in two parts. Glass swizzle sticks from clubs, bars, restaurants, hotels from the thirties on. And the second part, whiskey pitchers to hold and display them . Boy did Grace laugh at them...until I sold the collection and bought her a car!

Grace, later spent a few years selling our treasures on e-bay. Our house was well endowed with the antique motif as well. All to be sold when we eventually left. 

Grace worked in the Theatre Department at the college, so plays seemed a "slam dunk"...sometimes you win! We went to a few in Boston. Mostly musicals. Have to admit traveling in the van was a bit strange to her at first. I hardly ever used my car and simply didn't think about it much. Sold it finally. When we did our weekend foraging it came in handy.

We both had tests for each other, not sure if they were tests on a conscious level or not, but they worked that way. She got me first when she said we were going to visit her Aunts on sunday. "Really? Where?" Aunt Emma's in Malden. OK.

I think I was the only male there, or perhaps it only seemed that way. Emma, Queena, Anna, Nancy, Grace. Oh yeah they had a great time! I'm not really bashful so I joined in and enjoyed myself too. Must have passed that one!

About a month later I returned the favor. We went for Christmas brunch at my sister-in-law's house. That would be the sisters of Mary-Ellen's. My first wife. This was something that I didn't stop doing after the divorce. I just kept the entire family with one exception. And of course during the meal Mary-Ellen called and Grace was introduced! Heh, heh heh! May have gotten ahead with that one. Don't worry it didn't last. We've been married a long time and that was the only time that I "might" have been ahead!

Finding nice restaurants with some kind of nice music turned out to be our true "night out". Over the year's we have found several and are happy to say some extremely nice folks are life long friends because of our search. Naturally there is one food story that I have to relate. 

My buddy Ken and I had spent a few beers more than needed at the club and decided to go have a nice meal. I called Grace and asked her to join us. She did not seem all that thrilled with my choice but did agree. She had not been to O'Fados. 
A nice Portuguese place, more like a club in Peabody Square. A place that I had been too with my daughters. I think Ken got the pork and clam mariscado...not sure. I ordered the Quail and Grace (the adventuress) got steak. And as you would guess really liked my Quail...the steak was pretty good too, but I knew that anyway. The owners remodeled the place, big, loud, pretty? Then they divorced...it's still there, just not the same.

As I said we have been married for several years, some low points but mostly I would have to say we figured the adult dating thing out ok.

Campo Dei Fiori

The center of the known universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!