Saturday, May 17, 2014

Money from nothing

Yep, just like everyone else, I could use some assistance...perhaps a grant? But, I have an idea. Once upon a time I really enjoyed the Dodgem' cars at the amusement park. It appears that I wasn't the only one. Every day I see or hear something about racin'. This alleged sport appeals to the prurient interests of the adolescent "Southern" male, ie: Wrecks, speed and crashes. 

So, I am looking for some "venture capitalists" to assist me in getting a spectacular new event "off the ground"...so to speak. Here are the rules and explanations as I see them Falling into place.
1.) All vehicles must have 500 horsepower or more. Why? SPEED!

2.) No vehicles can be equipped with either brakes or a steering wheel. Reason? Crashes...wrecks!

3.) All drivers must have a current DUI. Reason? To get approval from MADD.

4.) No pit crews...why would you need them?

5.) Winner? First vehicle to survive 10 laps...do you really think anyone will finish?

Race car logic implies that people go to see the wrecks, so let's speed up the process. I think that this new event does that. And' with all the motors, sirens and screams we should also have the required noise aspect covered as well.

From  an economical point of view, money will be save in many various ways. Number one there is no reason for either the cars or the tracks to be safe...in fact the opposite would be better. Insurance might be a problem, but just play to the macho mentality...they'll all sign waivers! And, the sponsors will have cheap new stars every week!

What about the reality show you could spin off this concept?

Do we call it "Red-neck Roulette?"..."Wreckless Abandon?"..."Crash and Burn?"

Even MADD will be on board with this as it will permanently remove more drunk drivers from the road!

As absurd as this may sound, lots of money is there to be made...so as P T Barnum said, "Pony up suckers!"



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