Screwball stuff

I see this: He stands at the counter, "Smart" phone at his ear, sneakers unlaced and his pants approaching his knees. Conversation over, he hangs the phone on his BVD's...while we eat.

I think this: "Stupid is, as stupid does!"


If you buy cigarettes, there will be a warning on the side. Should your child require a new toy, most likely these words will be on the package, "some assembly required." When you arrive at home you will find another customer warning on the package as well, "Batteries not included!" So, why is it that when you purchase something electronic the following words aren't on the package, "Teenager required?"


Greeting: "Good morning."

Reply: "Restroom?"

Kind of sets the tone for the day...don't you think?


This is an example of a communication breakdown...

Mother screaming, Father screaming...

Child, ignoring! Yelling is NOT a communications skill!


Two people in love...then they're not. Oops, missed a line, a couple of kids later...Sorry all.


I use a "fountain pen" most of the time. It requires filling which means you must pay attention. Scene is set.

Am I seeing into  the future? There I sit, pen, ink, carefully refilling the pen. Spot takes this as an invitation...her new name? Blotch!


As I walk towards the entrance there she is in front of me. A vision. It's near the mid 60's and she has on "flip-flops", wrinkled shorts and a parka. As her cigarette bobbles from her complaining lips she opens the door, flips the butt and enters. Another glorious day begins.


Among the tasks that must be completed prior to my escape is the usual springtime slice of joy called taxes. Let us begin. Ring...ring, etc., voice over "this number no longer in service." Off at a gallop to the accountant's office. Light's are on and a voice comes from the back, a moment. Not the CPA. It seems that shortly after he did my taxes last year, he fell ill and succumbed. The letter explaining this got lost in the amassed mail while I was in Rome. Back into "Old Betsy" and down the road to the new CPA. Appointment made and kept. All is well, until the phone rings with the need of followup info. Did I mention I am leaving town...soon? Spot's ear infection is back, just to add another twist. Appointment tomorrow, sure hope the high winds don't take my "money tree" down. Oh well, pitchers and catchers report Friday. See, there is always a silver lining!