Her journal...part three

Today is a travel day. Back to Brenda's and I don't want to leave. Breakfast downstairs, Holly serving and we hit the road. 

A tour through the city and on to the beach. We drove for ten miles or so on Daytona beach. Stopping and walking,Max perfected the art of slow driving, with the door open...reaching out and picking up shells-talk about lazy! Back onto road and a lunch stop at Flagler Beach. Arrive around 6:30 and we order pizza. Domino's! Didn't overeat this time.

Saturday was a day for some clean-up, a bit of shopping before going out with Kim and family. We met them at Arigato's where we enjoyed a good meal,the kids specially, as it was a brand new experience. From there to Ringside for some Blues music, good players, vocals so-so. This is where JD became a self-appointed background checker...mine. Questions Kim probably wanted the answers to, but wouldn't ask. Worked out ok and Kim followed up with questions about the girls. At the end of the night I felt relieved that I had passed the test. Max,as usual knew where my feelings were coming from and admonished me for thinking that the kids approval would matter to him. He felt that my fear of rejection may have added to my being jittery all day. No more coffee, he bought me decaf! 

Home, where Max 'fessed up...he forgot to load the film, so all his shots of the B&B plus Jake were lost...some teacher!
...and, we didn't win the lottery either!

...to be continued

Reflections

 Kathy summed it up...she was a force! Her lose was a terrible blow to all of us that knew and loved her. a stunning end to what was a sad year. I will not be festive or celebratory tonight, but I will be glad for this year to end. Three beloved family members gone in such a short time reminds us that time is not to be wasted, but enjoyed.

Over my life there have been many additions to my family. I seem to accumulate them. New uncles, aunts, cousins, sisters, brothers, daughters, grandchildren in both this country and in the land of our dreams. This is , indeed ,a good thing. Family,  something you can never have enough of. Something to share your love with and your sadness.

Tonight we'll share memories, laughs and the sadness. Tonight the year ends...good! Tomorrow we will begin again, a new year, a new slate and a new start. Hope, that will be the keyword for our new start.  Buon anno a tutti!

Thurs Jan 28th...her journal

Had breakfast at the Victorian House. It,s a real pretty day outside...blue sky, sunshine, puffy clouds and lots of sky writing. Cancelled the notion of reading on  the porch 'til 10:00. Grabbed cameras and headed for the fort on foot. Spent at least an hour here taking pictures. I really hope my abilities are improving. Max wanted a group of sedentary birds to perform for an in-flight shot., so he tossed our house keys into the middle of the flock. They complied with his wishes, spread their wings and started to flutter around...it should be a great picture. But then the birds tried to grab the keys and take off. Max  really had to scramble-with hands over his head for protection to retrieve them. The picture taking here was truly fun.

Next we rented a horse drawn buggy for a tour of the city. As we were getting to our assigned buggy the first horse in line latched on to my camera strap...the driver had to slap his muzzle to make him release it. My sweater and the camera strap were covered with slime. It would have been a great shot if Max had realized what was happening earlier. 

Our driver's name was Tom and the horse was Bob. bob was a lively young horse who really wanted to take off. He kept trying to break into  a fast trot and was allowed to in traffic. Tom was totally personable, friendly and well informed about St Augustine. We got an excellent overview of the city and based our decisions on places to return to on his advice. 

After the tour we walked some of St George St-took a few shots there and I bought a pair of canvas Grasshoppers as the sandals I had on were giving me blisters. We headed back to the B&B to shed Max's jacket my purse, etc. and drop off gifts we had purchased.

Our next stop was the Mayflower...it's in St Augustine Philip! We kook pictures to take home for him...I'm sure max's will be better than mine...but I did try. 

Next it's the Lightner Museum. That was a great do. Very interesting place-what a way and place to have lived. An antique mall in what was the pool. Ropes suspended from the third floor so you could swing out and jump into the pool.  I suggested to Max that we might take in Beauport when we get home, I know he would love it.

Across the street is Flagler College. What an incredible place. It was built as one of the train Hotels when Henry Flagler was creating the railroad system in Florida. The beauty and opulence of the place can't be appreciated by the majority of the students. The dining hall was truly incredible, in no way could it be compared to the Commons back at SCC. I was totally awestruck by the murals, chandeliers, ceiling, etc.

Looked at more expensive antiques along St George St, picked up a couple of gifts and returned to B & B for a "Victorian Tea". a guitar player  (Holly) playing English/Victorian ballads...by the time we left Max had him playing the Blues. Holly told us about the Piano Bar and the performer there. So we left and headed to the Tradewinds again. Picked up wine for our meal and back to "Champs of Avila". Oh' oh, Bob-the chef is leaving to check out his new dog PJ...who's cooking? Diane brings out Max's lobster bisque and he tries to take a picture of it. Eats some and then runs back for his other camera. Bob returns, another couple gets their meals and out of the kitchen comes a young female, this isn't a one-chef operation after all. Another great meal.

Piano bar for one set. Bobby D does great job and back to B&B to end the night. Got good sleep, no cramps!

thus ends part 2...to be continued

Jan 23- Feb 7 1993...her journal

I've taken one of Grace's journal and used it to tell the story of our first trip. It's paraphrased...condensed.

Terrible day full of anticipation! Finally on the plane, calm, take-off about 6:00. Max antsy all day...no more late flights!
Got to Brenda's and watched a movie..."Invitation to Hell".

Sunday morning and breakfast at Skyway Jacks with Brenda and Stacy. Then to antique shops and a large junky flea market. I took a nap while they did the flea market. Brenda came back with great veggies for supper. A stop at Mom And Dad's, then back to Brenda's. Chicken Marsala for supper with steamed vegetables. On to meet Kim, JD and Jake, their adorable, friendly baby. A little beard tugging, after a little prompting and we're back to Brenda's. Another movie and Max bail's out around 11:00.

I made omelets for breakfast before we pick up Kim and Jake for some more antiquing in Ybor City. Jake is adorable, quiet, friendly and well-behaved. Lunch at the Columbia and then back to drop off the kids. Movie of the night, "Dominic and Eugene",great!

Tuesday and a business trip with Brenda, hate the back seat of this car. Never again! Antiques. Brenda does an inventory at one of her customers and Max  grocery shops. Brenda's...couldn't get out of that car fast enough!

Talked with Laurie and Kathy before we left for St. Augustine. We took back and side routes all the way there, no hurry. Saw a possible new home for Brenda, there was the water she wanted but it did need sprucing up. Arrived at the Victorian House about 6:00. They had messed up the confirmation and had to upgrade us, Daisy's Room with a porch...good deal!

Stopped in the Tradewinds, definitely a family run place. Of all the bars in town we instinctively find this one, too funny. Waitress tells us that the restaurant we chose doesn't have a liquor license but she can sell us a bottle of wine to go. 

Restaurant to ourselves, great piano on tape, Well presented food, fresh herbs and it tastes good! Three courses each for $50.00! We'll be back tomorrow. The B & B is just a few steps down the road and we're in for the evening. Max gets me aggravated...hold everything, he tells me that he loves me! We'll see- it would be wonderful-but it may have just been the day, the great room, the bottle of wine, whatever. It feels great for now...I'll take it. What a great city St. Augustine is!

...end of part one.

The yellow pad...

My friend Bill writes his holiday speech on a legal sized yellow pad. Lots of pages and it's almost always about his family. Big, warm and fun. Being in Florida means we don't see much of each other, I miss them all. This year more.

I am trying to put everything that has happened recently into perspective. So this is going to be my yellow pad.

Once upon a time you were born, grew up and remained in one place. Things change...movable roots. So when you think of your friends and loved ones, how, when and where they entered your life can be enlightening. Some of my friends are from childhood. Many are from other  stages along my life. All seem to have arrived at a propitious moment, just as I really needed the warmth and touch or hug of another. Some you always know, some are rediscovered, some are surprising and always, there are the newly discovered delights. Life is more of a winding road than a long thin line. Every twist leads in a new direction. New connections are made at each  turn. Three people have left my life in the last few weeks, it's gotten harder each time. What happens next will be another turn of the page. It isn't a new start because you will have the memories of those that were loved but are now gone and you still have all those that care for you. 

 My wishes can not be fulfilled, perhaps my hopes can. My sincere appreciation to everyone for your kind thoughts. A special thanks to those that have gone far beyond ordinary concern to try and ease the sorrow. Time will take care of that. Nothing else can. So from the carousel of life one leaves, I remain and rediscovered friends appear...life spins on.

Today is all about family. I'll spend it with my Daughter and her family.  I hope each of you is surrounded by the warmth and care of loving friends and family. Today should be full of joy and laughter. Let the original spirit of the season have free rein...let the party begin. Merry Christmas!

What a wreck!

 Guys may age were brought up differently, you don't cry in public. Why? I still have trouble with it. Yesterday we had the funeral services for my wife , Grace, and I didn't want to breakdown. Why? I knew everyone there, friends, family and loved ones but it was important to stay focused! Why? I'm not having any trouble at all crying in solitude. Just what is so damned important about being so strong? Silly isn't it? The saddest day of my life and I'm trying to tough it out...and failing miserably. The only person in the room that matters, Grace, has died, I'm trying to talk about her and not cry. What a fool! I loved Grace, why shouldn't others know it? That gut wrenching feeling comes and goes, just another one of those things you can only learn from experience. I walk through the house, mindlessly. Drive with no direction.

This train misses it's engineer!

Grace

First

No one ever called Grace Nonna. That is really too bad, because she exemplifies the word, a proud parent of children that are just as proud of their own. She would have loved it. She was a proud woman, proud that had been able to attein the skills, proficiency and the Degree that showed the world that you can learn and advance. That degree meant more to her than anything other than her family. A family she adored, a family that is paying it forward just as she did. And I am equally certain that their kids will continue the same "pay it forward" tradition that she started.

Now...

Imagine you are hearing the theme from Alfred Hitchcock. That is the music that Grace and I chose to accompany us on our entrance at our wedding reception. This was going to be a fun wedding, totally non-traditional. The spark to set us off on our new life. I think it worked.

Grace was going through a tough time waiting for surgery. One that would, both give her a second shot at life and ultimately here.

She grabbed hold of that chance and we were off on a long exciting ride. Bud, our Celebrant, has already recounted some stories of her life, so I'll try and stay centered on our time together.

We traveled! First, here to Florida to meet the family and to sight see. Then, through much of the country. Luckily, I have a large family, spread acroos the land...it helps! Always there was the question, could this be the place? But the passion never happened.

Grace had a plan, was passionate about it and she was stubborn. As aa child she had spent many loving hours with her Nonna. That's where she learned how to cook, not to clean. Somewhere during those moments she decided that she needed to visit her homeland...il suo patria, Italia! She looked forward to Firenze (florence) because that was where Nonna came from. Well, as I have heard, "you can't always get what you want"! Still the passion didn't happen.

And then Roma! Bells, whistles ,fireworks, the passion was finally there. When on departure she saw tears in my eyes she knew that we had found home. Everyone thought I was the besttoed one. I planned, she made it happen. No one ever had to ask where are you headed next again.

Why Roma? Culture? History? The ruins? Night life? Food? All of them but most importantly, the people. Early on we founf our hub, our base, perhaps in truth our home. Edda Montanari owns a place (bar) in the Campo dei Fiori...Winebar 36. It, the staff and all the surrounding vendors became our famiglia romano.

Both of us have traveled to Rome with broken legs. She on crutches and me just recently off them. I was and am  a born agein Roman...but she saw it first! If you were to ask us" how many times have you been to Rome"? The answer was, is and always will be one time too few!

One year we went for natale(Christmas), unannounced. Our sudden appearance was greated far past our wildest dreams. Two of our friends had lost their Fathers over the previous year and our visit was looked on as a way to help them through that first holiday season. In Italy the traditions differ, gifts are exchanged on epiphany and Christmas is a quiet family only affair. Lina, one of the widows invited us to spend the day her and her family. We were delighted, honored and humbled.

Grace has always been know for dressing stylishly and perhaps her trademark is a scarf. She has an entire wardrobe of them, many from Lina. Scarves and linens are what Lina and her son Sandro sell. Marina and Fabrizzio, next kiosk sell hats and soccer shirts...so NOT Grace.

I hope someday to return to see all of our dear friends and perhaps, return Grace to the place she and I love with such passion.

The medications that gave Grace her second chance are powerful. They have a lasting and cumulative affect. That is part of why we are here today.

The love of my life is at peace, her indomitable spirit stilled.

She got to see her Grand daughter Britney married, maybe the single most wonderful thing that a fiercely loving and doting Nonna could ever desire. Perhaps the happiest day of her life.

Our last memory of Grace will be of her dressed, lovingly in the outfit she wore so happily that day.

I wish that we could have more time, but sure loved what we did have...I will love and miss you until I join you.